Doubt

So, I've known for a few weeks now that I'll be going to New York this summer, and I have yet to really start support raising. It's been a combination of being busy and trying to deal with life. I've sort of started writing my letter. I've told a couple of people it was done...not sure why I did that. Maybe it was wishful thinking. If you're one of these people, I'm sorry. Most of you know me well enough to know that lying, especially about stuff like that, is really out of character.

My support letter will be written before I go to bed tonight.

During these few weeks, I've had the opportunity to sit with God and really talk about some doubts that I've had - "am I doing this for the right reasons?" I realized that these thoughts come up when I start worrying about the money and classes and what certain people will think of me going....the hard things that I've got to trust God to take care of. I know He will. I'm having a hard time believing it though. I've been fighting a lack of faith in general lately. I've seen God do amazing things, but ever since I've been accepted to project, I've been having trouble really believing, really living in a way that reflects that.

I'm asking you to please pray with me as I walk through this. I've decided that I will not eat out until I receive full support. I know this probably sounds trivial, but the schedule I've been keeping tends to keep me from home, and as a result, I frequent the Student Union's food court fairly regularly. This will help me save money, be healthier, and bring me closer to God as I rely on Him to keep me disciplined enough to do this.

Disclaimer: There will be one exception: We are having an art show to benefit the International Justice Mission, and Ethos Vegan Kitchen is hosting it. We're planning a dinner there to support them as thanks for all of their help in this show. Not eating would be counter-productive to our efforts.